It’s my turn to give back

COVID-19 has so far been ravaging a lot of industries — and the medical field is no exception. We all know that the hospital industry is clearly no stranger to viruses, and a virus that spreads like wildfire is something medical personnel are trained to combat. However, despite all the efforts around the world thus far, it is clear that COVID-19 is not an easy opponent. 

In my three years as a doctor, I always did know that I’d have to face these kinds of viruses. I always knew that all this time, I have been putting my life on the line to save others’ lives. When the virus first came to the country and cases slowly started popping up, I didn’t really think much of it. Since we were already normally out to fight all these viruses, it wasn’t really a big deal for doctors like me to have to fight this new virus. Life in the hospital was just as usual, except with increased consumption of rubbing alcohol and an added suit of armor — popularly known as the PPE.  While a few of my co-doctors contracted the virus here and there, they didn’t seem to exhibit any deadly symptoms and eventually recovered, so with no big expectations, I just did my work as I normally did. But apparently, and actually, quite unfortunately, life tends to bring you things beyond what you normally expect.

I suddenly caught the virus and quickly deteriorated until I was in a very critical condition. I was admitted to the intensive care unit (ICU) for almost two weeks, and each day was literally the worst. On countless occasions, I already felt like giving up because my condition didn’t seem to get better despite all the medications I was receiving. Every day, they poked me with these huge needles here and there, sucked my blood out to do all these tests, and on top of that, I had to have this tube stuck down my throat which hurt so much. 

With no absolute cure discovered for COVID-19, all I could think about was how I wished I just stopped waking up because honestly, what was the point of holding out? These moments were honestly the most trying and darkest moments in my life where I felt like all hope was fading away. 

Amidst the darkness and negativity I began casting upon myself, however, an ember of light somehow managed to make its way into my room. A few days into the ICU, I started seeing these photos on my walls. Apparently, my co-doctors put in the extra effort to motivate me to keep trying, reminding me that there were tons of people waiting for me to get well. These were photos of my family, closest friends, classmates, and even random acquaintances — all who were apparently praying that I would recover. When I was slightly better than usual and got the change to browse through my phone, I saw all these messages of support that came flooding and I was so moved that I realized I had to fight — I realized that I had to win my life back. 

It’s interesting how a change of mindset can affect your health. Although as a doctor myself, I know that it was through my medications that I got better, the sudden spark I got from all the love and support to keep fighting somehow helped me recover at a faster pace. Up until now, I couldn’t help but feel thankful for all those who prayed for me, messaged me, and all those who made sure I got to piece myself back together in spite of the crippling hardship. 

“Keep moving forward.”

This was a quote I’ve consistently held onto ever since I was a little girl. In every challenge I had to face, no matter how difficult, I always believed that there would always be a way for me to move on and overcome each obstacle, and definitely, COVID-19 is no exception. 

Now that I’ve fully recovered and am in really good shape, I’m actually excited to go back to work to battle again at the forefront of this pandemic. I know very well that a lot of dangers await me when I get back, but there’s really no point in being scared. I overcame the biggest obstacle of my life, thanks to everyone’s love and support, and now I think it’s my turn to give back. Now more than ever, doctors and other frontliners are needed to combat this virus, and it is my will to make sure that people don’t suffer the same experiences I had. 

The ways of the hospital industry didn’t really change. COVID-19 cases still increase every day, people still die every day, all while doctors try their best to save these casualties bit by bit. And while this pandemic highlights the importance of healthcare in our society, it also emphasizes the need for us to move forward and get back on our feet if we want to put an end to the virus and all the terror it has brought upon our lives.

Edited by Büm Tenorio Jr.